haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
