insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
