she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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