I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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