awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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