kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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