I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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