Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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