oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
