carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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