Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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