Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
