How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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