So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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