Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
