It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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