question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
