My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
