Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
