Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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