that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
