She's JV to your varsity
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
