you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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