I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you inspire me to be a worse person
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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