Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
