Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
