using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
