Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

(609): View more from New Jersey

ravioli

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(240): View more from Maryland

stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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(305): View more from Florida

i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot

(1-305): View more from Florida

lets call myth busters

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(209): View more from California

You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.

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(765): View more from Indiana

You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."

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