$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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