I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
