I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
