I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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