I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
