you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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