I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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