The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
