she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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