dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
