I want to have your abortion
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
