he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I party with great urgency now.
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