Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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