Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
