did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize