i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
