I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
