JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
