the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
