I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize