Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
