is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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