Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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