i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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