What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
