I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
