who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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