Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
