Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
