Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
