I accidentally had phone sex last night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
