She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
