Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
