I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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