she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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