Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
