Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
