Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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