Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
