Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Are we still banned from the library?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
