His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
