I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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