Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
