Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
